Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
