I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
