You're earring is so big in my mouth
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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