apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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