You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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