I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
