my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
try to milk me bitch
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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