Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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