will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
