I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Randomize
