ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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