Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
