I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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