PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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