are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
So drunk its hurt
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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