this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
