Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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