Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
All I want is dick and wine.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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