Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
