i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
