Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
