WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
