She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
