i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
