He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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