no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
