you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
