do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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