and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
