Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
