I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
