I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
