So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
