I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
