Say something about gay babies.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
