I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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