HIV tests are more positive than that guy
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
