It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
