I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
