Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
