what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
