whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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