the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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