Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
