So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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