I puked a lego.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
