Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
