That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
