I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
