Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Randomize
