He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
