Plan B is the new Plan A
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
