I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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