Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
